Please welcome guest blogger, Susan Korwin
About 10 years ago, I decided to become a lifestyle consultant after being stopped consistently in stores, museums, etc. by women asking me where I bought my dress, my bag, and just about anything I would have on. While on line in the grocery, I would have women (and men) ask if they could look inside my cart to see what I ate because I was thin. After dishing out free advice, I had an idea to make this a service to others that I could get paid for. What I found was that while taking people shopping and being in the dressing room with them, they would look (and find) something in the mirror that they hated. They would say, “I look fat”, “I am too short” or “I am so ugly”. I would sit there stunned, because most of these people were beautiful but what they saw in the mirror was a completely different image than reality. It was then that I realized that one cannot fix the outside without first fixing the inside. Being that I had a background in Psychology, I decided to become certified as a Life Coach in order to help people see the real image reflecting back at them in the mirror.
Here is what I believe:
It is a fact that your body confidence is based mostly on what you see when you look in a mirror. If you are like most people, the first thing that your eyes see is probably your least favorite body part. Advertisers spend an inordinate amount of money to sell us on the concept of the “ideal” image of beauty.
Basically, we are being brainwashed. One of the most harmful activities is comparing your body to “better” bodies. The best way to do this is to read glossy magazines filled with photos of airbrushed models. We look at these images and know that these people are successful because of their bodies and think that if we only looked like them, we would be successful too. We are all too painfully aware that we will never look like that, then our body confidence goes way down, and thus the spiral effect of hating what we see in the mirror! From your earliest days, whether you played with Superman or Barbie, you were receiving constant images of what beauty is supposed to look like.
If you can learn to love what you see in the mirror, your confidence will skyrocket and you will put yourself in the spotlight where you belong. In order to improve your body confidence, there are two things you can do: you can change how you look, which is basically fruitless, or you can change how you feel about how you look. Even though you can lose some weight or build muscle on your frame which is great because you will be healthier, more energetic and in control, it won’t necessarily make you look like a movie star, which you may feel is necessary for you to really feel good about yourself. You must learn to love what you see no matter what “flaws” you see in the mirror.
You can visualize your body as your employee and that you are the boss. It works hard every day for you and supports everything you do from waking up, to brushing your teeth. It is such a hard worker that it goes for 24 hours a day, seven days a week without stopping! To me, that is one great employee! Now, are you a good boss? Do you treat this employee with respect? If you don’t have body confidence, you probably treat this employee pretty badly, ignoring the hard work and just harping on its flaws. Try thanking it every once in a while by getting a nice massage, buying a new outfit, or taking a walk in the park. Make a list of all the good things your body does. Maybe you are a great dancer or a wonderful pianist, add something to your list every day.
Here are some helpful tips to build your confidence with the body you were born with:
Look in the mirror, take a really good look. Think about all the compliments you have ever received. Maybe people tell you how great your hair is or how beautiful your eyes are, maybe you have a nice smile. Try to see what other people see.
Find at least three things you like about yourself, and then accentuate them as you dress to go out. If you love your eyes, make sure your hair doesn’t cover them up. If your hair is one of your assets, make sure it looks clean and vibrant. In short, magnify what you like. We can’t change our gene pool. Maybe your genes make you short instead of tall. Maybe you have a tendency to gain weight easier than another person. This is something that can’t be changed, but you can learn to love yourself and make the most of what you can change, which is the attitude you show the world. Accept yourself for who you are, how you look, and focus on what really matters-the things about you that are unseen-your heart, your mind and your soul!
If you tend to be heavy, don’t just give up and figure you can’t change so you’ll just keep eating the wrong things. This will only make you feel worse about yourself. Try your best, even if you will never be “skinny” you can treat the body you have with respect. Eventually you will love yourself more because you will have more self-respect for having discipline.
Remember, your body is a hard worker! Make sure you appreciate it by giving it a “raise”!
My goal is to empower people by helping them change the way they think. By substituting a positive thought for a negative thought, your life changes in ways you can’t imagine. Everything in life can be looked at two different ways: We can see the darkness or we can see the light.
Count your blessings and count on success!
To contact Susan please visit her website: www.susankorwin.com
Email: [email protected]
Thank you Susan!